Thursday, October 15, 2009

I promise this is the only time. . .

Normally I am harshly critical of the angsty and melodramatic ways of the teenage blog since, let's face it, it is boring as fuck to hear about people complain about their lives. I can't figure out why we can all acknowledge that complaining about ex-boyfriends, bitchy teachers, and the shitty cafeteria food is irritating in real life, and then instantly forget that as soon as we get online. I still don't care about your ex-boyfriend. Or that teacher. Or the cafeteria food (though I agree it really does taste shitty). It is as much of a crime to pollute the cyber world with your irksome drivel as it is to pollute the air in the real world.

And yet here I am. Yearning to say something shocking. Something intensely profound. I am a hypocrite in the first degree because the only reason I made this blog was to essentially whine and wimper about my life, then offer my two cents about how to fix yours. Pathetic.

Rather than being down on myself by recognizing the supreme conformism I am caving into, I will instead excuse my actions as a "cathartic release" I am only writing for my eyes only. That being said, I will say the one line I have been dying to release and spent all this time pardoning and prefacing:

Why is it that in other situation I would be happy as a clam doing the nothing I am doing right now, but instead I am completely restless and dissatisfied simply because I am not doing the nothing that you are doing. In case that was too wordy to understand: I am only unhappy because I am not with you.

I embrace the utter pathetic-ness of it. What a pitiful confession. Do I feel better now that it's said? Not really. I am glad however, that I was able to articulate my thoughts in a way that at least I could understand, what a rare moment.

From this day forward I promise not to post anything this sappy, hyperemotional, or any-other-demeaning-adjective-you-can-think-of blog ever again. Typically I write about funny things, ironies. I promise this is only time you have to read about me in such a sad state.

PS: To all those "yous" out there past, present, and future, you really got to me. But thanks for making my life a little more purposeful - I'm sure I owe you a lot.

PPS: To all the "yous" that ever read this knowing you're a "you", sorry for being such a creeper by addressing you directly. If you know me at all you know this is how I can be. Promise I'm working on it!